ladysbeans

Stay at home mom spilling the beans on everyday life!

Stream of Consciousness Assignment#1

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The assignment today was to type/write our thoughts. Without hesitation, reserve or correction. So here it goes.
I cant help but think of all my friends and family back home. I am incredibly homesick today. It isn’t easy for me to make friends so the ones that I do have I hold close to my heart. A handful of people know who I really am. Its hard being married to the military sometimes. There are plenty of people to make friends with… people to hang out with, personalities to explore… But friendships built on the commonality Navy life don’t work out so well. I have ONE person in my life that I met because of being moved around the country. I love her to pieces. Its such a small world. We actually grew up about 30 minutes away from each other to have only met at our adult ages having married military men.
I miss being able to grab my coat and keys and take off for the day to go see my friends. Now I have a family, I am married and I live 18 hours from my friends and family. It doesn’t feel so bad alllll the time, sometimes it really pulls at my heart, especially when I see all the “mobile uploads” to FB of my old friends and family all together still.
My sister also married into the Navy, and she is living about 9 hours from me, so its possible for us to visit each other every now and again.
My Husband works a lot, I mean A LOT.
7 days a week.
Oh here we go, damn it, I miss my husband more living here than I did when he was attached to a submarine that would leave for weeks at a time. When he was home we were so engrossed in each other, we were all that existed.
Now he gets weekends, and he gets off work at “normal” times and he wants to spend time with his friends that he has made here. (that comes quite easily to him, he is so charismatic and charming, he oozes it) I don’t mind that he has friends, its healthy. But I find myself getting jealous. And that it not attractive! HA!
Its a struggle that we have to endure.
My oldest daughter is home from school for the summer. so now its a challenge to find ways to entertain all 3 kids 24/7. I fear that I may end up losing my mind. a good thing that I could possibly do for myself is enroll in a yoga class. maybe weekly, have the husb

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One thought on “Stream of Consciousness Assignment#1

  1. It is a nice stream of consciousness. I also wrote about something that was on my mind yesterday… Since I wrote at lunch time, the result was a kind of melancholic musing on how some people drive me crazy, but, anyway, at least I wrote. I’ve been missing my house most of the time over the last few weeks, maybe a sign I should find another job, lol. I understand your feelings, because somehow, I feel the same way: it seems like eveyone is moving on and doing a great job with their lives while I just do what I must do, because I can’t quit and restart somewhere else…

    Like

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